And on the sixth day, God created Trash! And it was good. Especially his hair! That’s right Trashers, Mark Gregory hits the big screen yet again, this time portraying the greatest role of all time, the very first man! Well, after his role as Trash in Bronx Warriors, his role as Johnny Hondo in War Bus Commando, and his role as Thunder in all three Thunder films! Still, playing Adam looks damn good on his resume, too. It certainly plays to his strength of standing around with a stupefied look on his face. After all, everything is new to Adam, so when he acts like a confused five year old when Eve announces she’s making a baby, it’s completely believable! Read More

This is another one of those screwball comedies they made in the thirties where regular folk are thrown into the strange and kooky world of rich folk. I never tire of seeing the filthy rich act like boobs while falling in love with lower class types. This time the results are very satisfying chiefly because of the witty, if mechanical, script from Preston Sturges and the peppy efforts of Jean Arthur. Ray Milland is also along for the ride as her love interest and watching the young Milland makes you cringe when you remember that thirty years later he would end up in such fare as X – The Man With X-Ray Eyes and Frogs. Cringe because of how long it would take him to get around to making cool movies! Read More

Car Crash is the single best 1970s movie of 1980! This film from Antonio Margheriti (Ark Of The Sun God, Jungle Raiders) stars two of the biggest names of the decade – Trans Am and Travolta! Trans Am riveted the nation with his performance in the various Smokey And The Bandit films where he single-handedly carried the annoyingly smug Burt Reynolds to super stardom. John Travolta was practically the entire late 70s himself with his TV show, singing career, Grease, and Saturday Night Fever! Clearly, John was pretty busy and if you thought he’d find time to pick up a $700 check for an Italian movie about a big time demolition derby, then up your nose with a rubber hose, Sweathog! The Italians though were experts at tapping into what they perceived to be popular in American culture and then delivering the absolutely palest of imitations. Thus we find ourselves watching John’s brother Joey in the starring role! Read More

Engineered to the be the perfect killing machine. Part man. Part robot. All ass kick! Cyber Warrior One will be the soldier of the future for the American military. Unaffected by extreme heat and cold, impervious to biological weapons and various and sundry toxins, and completely obedient in following all orders, no matter who wrong they may be, this ultimate force of devastation and freedom-spreading vengeance will continue to ensure our great country’s superiority for generations! But what if this cyborg was accidentally let loose on an unsuspecting world? What if it escaped before its orders could be downloaded into its electronic brain? What if the bunch of losers who were guarding it on a ship bumped into the closet holding Cyber Warrior One during a brawl over a poker game and let it out? Read More

I knew I was in trouble right from the beginning when a message appeared on the screen that if this film caused someone to meditate, then it would have been worth the effort. I was pretty sure that when I tracked down a copy of The Web Of Silence – A.I.D.S., it was because it was an Italian movie that was going to either gross me out or make me laugh and hopefully both. I was also pretty sure that I didn’t buy it because I was in need of meditation inspiration. That’s what my day job is for. Read More

When civilization has been destroyed! When the world has been reduced to a low budget friendly desert! When only a handful of people survive! When the rule of law is replaced by the savage rule of the wasteland! One man will stand above all others and command them with his bizarre vision of a new society where he screws all the fertile women and forced suicides are the order of the day to maintain a sustainable population! Such a tyrant can only be called…Kragg! And he could only be played by…Bull…from Night Court! Read More

Heck, this spider wasn’t all that! It didn’t even take the entire Earth to fight it like the title promised! They should’ve called this one Egghead Professor & Redneck Sheriff vs. The Spider. Other than sounding like a spin-off from those Doll Man-Demonic Toys-Puppetmaster team ups, you can’t really argue with how much potential there is there. I can pretty much picture in my mind further adventures of our doofus duo such as Egghead Professor & Redneck Sheriff vs. Dracula, Egghead Professor & Redneck Sheriff vs. The Swamp Monster, and the drive-in favorite Egghead Professor & Redneck Sheriff at the Carnival of Terror! Read More

This is one of those classic sci-fi movies from the 1950s complete with great title. The real question is whether it’s actually any good to sit through or does it just sound like it’s good to sit through. Well, for the most part, it’s not really particularly any good and it’s not really laughably bad. Much of the movie is boring, though you are rewarded with some pretty good saucer attacks at the end of things. Read More

I’ve read a good portion of H.P. Lovecraft’s writing in my time and for the most part, I’ve found it enjoyable, in spite of the often times purple prose. Once upon a time I even read The Dunwich Horror story that this movie is purportedly based on. I say purportedly because I don’t honestly recall much of what went on in the story (nameless Old Ones attempting to invade this dimension I assume – that seemed to be part and parcel of Lovecraft’s writings), but I don’t recall ever sitting there thinking, “this would make a great movie with Dean Stockwell and Sandra Dee.” Read More