Buck, the Canadian wonderdog who was last seen in Buck At The Edge Of Heaven returns for a final, fantastical frontier odyssey of whip-wielding broads and black guys pretending to be Indians! Read More

Sometimes when I’m studying these kick fighting movies, I get the distinct impression that no one involved in the movie has any idea what to do in between fight scenes. In Kick Fighter for instance, we are subjected to a birthday party for Kick Fighter’s sister. There’s a cake and Kick Fighter (KF) and his friend have purchased a dress as expensive as it is ugly with the winnings from KF’s first fight. His sister gets all huffy about how much it cost and that she doesn’t like KF (Richard Norton of Deathfight and Equalizer 2000 legend) gambling to get the money. Putting aside the fact that KF should’ve saved a little kick fighting from his match for his ingrate sister, what exactly is the point of that scene? No one watching a movie called Kick Fighter is wanting to see some queer-assed birthday party for a guy’s cry baby sister! Read More

This time all our boys come home! No, really! Even if they got leprosy! Eww! Ickiest POW rescue mission ever! But that makes it even more personal for Straker (Richard Norton) who goes back to the biggest leper colony of them all, Southeast Asia, to bust out all the guys from his crew that never made it back to the States with him when the Vietnam War ended! Why is it more personal? Um, because they’re all freaking lepers! That’s pretty heinous, even by the usual abominably inhumane standards of Charlie! Read More

Pocket Ninjas is so awful it doesn’t even cut it as a fifth choice for a movie about three young douchebag ninjas after you’ve somehow plowed through all four 3 Ninja films. Without actually subjecting yourself to its seventy or so minute running time, it’s difficult to communicate the depth of its sustained failure. Read More

This movie reaffirmed my faith in our kickboxing lord and savior, Gary Daniels. So much of Gary’s teachings involve showing us that if we bear the crosses he gives us (stupid plots, poorly executed scenes of guys flying through the air on wires, hideously untalented and unappealing co-stars), our reward will not be the eternal damnation that lesser action stars (Van Damme, Don “The Dragon” Wilson, and the Great Satan himself, Steven Seagal) routinely deliver like a cold, soggy pizza the driver spit, shat, and pissed on, but an everlasting peace brought about by his love of kicking and punching scumbag killers! Read More

The local crime boss is using a skinhead gang to capture members of a Chinese gang so that their organs can be harvested. A local cop gets a little too nosy and is snuffed out by a pair of hitmen employed by the crime boss. His step brother, Hawke, travels back to the United States from his native England to attend the funeral and decides to dig a little deeper into his step brother’s death. Hawke has some help from a Chinese buddy who knew his brother as well as his brother’s former partner, a blonde chick prone to lecturing Hawke on staying out of her investigation while standing around in a bra and leather skirt. Most of Hawke’s help though comes from the fact that he’s the very best British Special Forces marine ever! In short, this is your typical Gary Daniels movie. Thank God! Read More