A pointless entry in the Frankenstein series, this one is highlighted by such ludicrous elements as the ghost of Henry Frankenstein appearing, brain transplants, and the inexplicable return of the Monster’s sport coat. Some of you may recall the hideous furry vest that the Monster wore in the previous sequel, Son of Frankenstein. Well, that thing is mercifully gone. Of course, no sooner do we get rid of that awful vest, then we realize that we’ve also gotten rid of Boris Karloff. Read More

Thousands of years after man solved the riddle of the Sphinx, one Sphinxy question still remained: what is the secret of the Sphinx? While the riddle turned out to be a rather gimmicky joke about a man aging throughout his life, it should be noted that that particular sphinx was one who lived in ancient Greece, so who really cares, right? The secret we’re concerned with is the one held by the most famous of all the Sphinxes, the one who lives in Egypt with all those pyramids. Surely, a strange and wondrous creature like the Sphinx who stands guard over the ancient kings of Egypt would have the most awesomest secret ever hidden inside its sandy blowhole! Read More

The second sequel to Frankenstein marks the series’ lengthy descent into the mediocrity (even Boris Karloff’s makeup isn’t as good!) that would eventually force the Monster to do battle with the likes of Bud Abbott and Lou Costello. Though it isn’t readily apparent in this movie (chiefly because it’s camouflaged by a good cast), the seeds of everything that went wrong with the series were sown here – that being the reduction of the Monster from a tormented beast who is only seeking acceptance in an inhospitable world to a generic movie monster called Frankenstein. Read More

One of history’s greatest sluts is given a very tasteful treatment in Vittorio Cottafavi’s early sword and sandal epic, Messalina. Sure, Messalina is shown coming onto everything with a bulge in his mini-skirt tunic and she’s not above being pawed by a sweaty goon solely to achieve the assassination of her emperor husband. Read More

Like for so many of us, Henry Frankenstein’s college years were a time of turmoil and self-discovery. He was way too advanced to stay in school and wanted the university to provide him with a steady stream of corpses so that he could continue playing God. The school refused, saying that they preferred to suck people dry over the course of a lifetime through their student loan program instead. So Henry put a flyer up at the student union looking for a hunchback to join his band and got an off-campus apartment with a windmill. Why, if you substituted “kegs” for “corpses,” that pretty much describes my freshman year! Read More

Director Joe D’Amato (Blue Angel Cafe, Heroes In Hell) teams up with the writer of Witchery and Contamination .7 to deliver their own not unexpectedly awful take on The Postman Always Rings Twice. It’s a story straight out of the Bible since we all remember Sunday School where we were taught about when Cain came back from prison, screwed his brother Adam’s wife Eve, then spent the rest of the Good Book trying to decide whether to kill Adam at Eve’s behest, or keep putting her off by screwing the local waitress at the hotel/tavern that Adam ran. Obviously, a beautiful story that made me the strong Jesus freak I am today. But surely after witnessing what Joe did to this beloved legend, there is a baby somewhere in a manager crying its fool head off! Read More