The danger of any movie series that spans several sequels is that you’ve got a lot of backstory to catch people up on who might not have seen or remembered what happened in the previous outings. For instance, for the life of me I could not remember what happened in the first five Karate Warrior movies. Admittedly, I had not seen parts 2-5, but I did watch the original Karate Warrior some time ago. All I recall from that one is that this dude acquired a super powered punch that allowed him to beat up a cow. Clearly, I had a lot of catching up to do with Karate Warrior Anthony!
Of course, first he and I had to catch up with the fact that his name is now Larry Jones. Not a big deal. He probably was given a new Karate Warrior name by his mentor Kimura once he attained the level needed to wear the very gay Golden Kimono. Except that his mentor had a different name as well.
Sure, we can nitpick some of the continuity issues the movie has, but what movie is going to be perfect in that department on its sixth go round? Besides, I could highlight just as many things that stayed the same. For instance, Karate Warrior’s girlfriend is played by Dorian D. Field. She was also his girlfriend in Karate Warrior 3 and Karate Warrior 4. She was also Antonio Sabato Jr.’s girlfriend in Karate Rock. I guess some chicks just dig sweaty barefoot guys dressed in pajamas. Who knew?
Italian film vet David Warbeck once again appears as Karate Warrior’s father just like he was in parts 4 and 5. Perhaps not surprisingly, he also played Karate Rock’s dad, too. His role in Karate Warrior 6 in fact turns out to be a stripped down version of what he did in Karate Rock.
In Karate Warrior 6, David ditches all the whining about what a crappy kid he has like he did in Karate Rock and only appears at the end of the movie to give Karate Warrior the proper motivation to kick ass. It was shortly after his words of encouragement that Karate Warrior’s mentor gave him the order to use the Dragon Punch and Karate Warrior was able to execute the dreaded finishing move in excruciating slow motion! I’ve always said that a Warbeck appearance is like flipping a switch. At least it always has been in my life.
So what in the world has Karate Warrior gone and gotten himself mixed up in now that he has to haul out a Warbeck cameo to win another match? It’s almost too wacky to recount and it’s certainly so crazy that it must be based on a true story.
It all starts at the local watering hole where Karate Warrior and his girlfriend are reminiscing fondly about what (presumably) happened in Karate Warrior 5. He’s tells her that it seems like only yesterday that she was kidnapped and then asks her what’s happening with the court case against the Penguin! Obviously Karate Warrior has been kicked in the head too many times since he has mistaken their latest adventure with a Batman comic he read.
Karate Warrior can be excused for mixing reality with fantasy though considering what happens next. One of his friends (a fat guy affectionately called Tubby) rides his bike into the limo of an foreign king. Though he is not hurt (blubber doesn’t bruise – it only jiggles) he gets $10,000 in cash from the king. Tubby announces to his friends that he is going to take them on a vacation to Greece with the money, but first they’re all going on a shopping spree to get really tricked out wardrobes. The viewer is advised at this point to put down his or her beverage and swallow so that no spitting up is involved when we cut to the shopping spree at…JCPenney’s!
After spending about $135 on matching shorts and caps at Penney’s, the boys fly off to Greece where Tubby gets involved in something that makes the Penney’s shopping spree look like the Manhattan Project. Late at night along the shoreline, Tubby encounters a guy with a violin. This guy uses his violin to summon a mermaid from the depths!
The guy wants a bunch of money to allow Tubby to have access to the mermaid and Tubby manages to convince one of his friends to go along with this plan. In Karate Warrior’s defense, he was not involved in this scheme. Yes, he’s been whacked in the head hundreds of times over the course of six movies, but it’s not like he’s had his brain surgically removed.
Guess what happens next? The guy steals the money and runs away! And the mermaid turns out to be fake! And a man! While I’m no expert in cinema, I think I can safely say that a tranny mermaid is a first in an Italian karate movie.
Writer/director Fabrizio De Angelis knows what made previous hits such as The Karate Kid, Splash, and The Crying Game work and smartly combined them into a story that somehow forces Karate Warrior to not only compete in a karate match, but also a motocross race!
A motocross race? See how Fabrizio brings everything full circle in this movie? Way back in the original Karate Warrior, it was established that before Karate Warrior became the kung fu superhero with the sissiest costume of all time, he was an expert dirt bike racer!
And now, in his final explosive adventure, thousands of miles from home, with everything at stake, he has to lay his Golden Kimono aside and strap on the motorcycle leathers and helmet one last time in a race for glory! And for $2000 for plane tickets back home since Tubby got their tickets stolen in that mermaid debacle.
But what about his karate way of life? Don’t tell me that Fabrizio sent his most prolific hero into the sunset without a last karate battle of the bands! Okay, I won’t! Because it would be a frigging lie! The guy that Karate Warrior beats in the motorcycle race is none other than local karate champ Mustapha! And guess who it was that helped Karate Warrior win the race by providing him a bike to ride? Mustapha’s disgruntled fiancee! And now, Karate Warrior feels obligated to fight Mustapha in a no holds barred karate dance of death in three days in order to free Mustapha’s fiancee from her engagement!
Three days isn’t much, but it’s more than enough for an extensive training montage to show how out of shape Karate Warrior is. It’s also more than enough time for Karate Warrior’s girlfriend, dad, and mentor to fly over to Greece and train his out of shape ass back into fighting trim so that he can absorb Mustapha’s beat down for about the last ten minutes of the movie before he gets the go ahead to use the Dragon Punch!
Star Ron Williams who has been Karate Warrior since Part 3 demonstrates the karate ability of a goat, but Fabrizio sends everyone home happy by tacking on a epilogue back in the United States where Tubby tries to fake another accident to get more money from the foreign king. The king’s bodyguards respond by slapping him in the face repeatedly while Tubby’s friends watch and laugh! Without question, a satisfyingly abominable and nonsensical send off to the wimpiest and blandest of all big screen karate heroes.
© 2009 MonsterHunter
How is the world did you find this movie. I just watched the first one and am fascinated by how awful it was. More suprising is that there were 6 of them. I have no idea how to find anymore of them.
Karate Warrior 6 was released on German DVD with an English language track. Parts 2, 3, 4, 5 have had various releases (I think Italian, German, Greek DVDs), but none with an English language track. Part 2 also had a VHS release with an English language track. I’m still looking for an English-friendly 3, 4, 5.