The Abominable Snowman (1957)
This fairly early Hammer film is a pretty unremarkable affair involving the search for the abominable snowman in the Himalayas. Peter Cushing plays a wuss botanist named Dr. John Rollason who's up in those parts doing prissy things like studying rare plants, sipping tea, and generally sucking up to the lama that runs the monastery that he, his wife (way too young for him) and his assistant (obviously gay) are crashing at during the course of their stay.
The lama is one of those all-knowing type dudes. You can tell because he's always sitting cross legged and muttering incomprehensible blather that Dr. Rollason kind of squints at and doesn't really understand until the end of the movie after the Yeti tried to eat him or something. I can't stand those guys. If you got something to say, say it. If you don't, then shut your piehole, loser. Eventually, the lama babbles about some group that is coming to the monastery and Cushing seems to know who they are.
The team of newcomers arrive and it is obvious from the get-go that they are the crass Americans the back of the DVD described. They bluster in hooting and hollering, making fun of the natives, dissing the mountains, calling out the Yeti and pretty much make royal arses of themselves.
That's one thing that irritates me about some of these movies. You get a bunch of British crybabies together to write and make a movie and when it comes time to cast the blowhards and dummies, they immediately make the characters Americans. Memo to the Brits: it is over, it has been over for over 200 years and you lost! Trying to make us look bad in generic horror movies is not going to change the fact that the only thing you've accomplished since is to build that Chunnel thing. And I think it's up for debate as to whether a structure that gives the French easier access to your country is actually an "accomplishment".
Anyway, the team is lead by a guy named Tom Friend. He's a big galoot full of vim and vigor and is kind of a big game hunter version of P.T. Barnum. He's also got a trapper with him named Ed Shelley and a guy named McNee that's had some encounter with a Yeti and has become kind of obsessed ever since. Now I don't want to spoil anything for you guys but I will note that the cover of the DVD shows Tom Friend being harassed by a giant shadow and near his feet are two tombstones, one marked "Edward Shelley" and the other marked "Andrew McNee."
Dr. Rollason's wife finds out that he's planning on going on this road trip up the mountain to look for big stanky ape-men and she gets in his face trying to tell him about this and that. He pays her no mind and leaves her with his gay assistant. She is convinced he is not coming back, but luckily for us, we don't see much more of her the rest of the movie.
They set off on their journey and discover that this is one of those movies where people climb for awhile, then stop, make camp and talk a lot. We learn that Tom Friend is really in it for the money and not to expand people's knowledge. Rollason had somehow convinced himself that Friend was in it for all the right reasons and was outraged to find out otherwise. We also learn that Friend was responsible for promoting a bunch of Mexican wolf children or something earlier which turned out to be a hoax.
In any event there's entirely too much blah blah and not enough Yeti attacks. Since this is a mountain climbing movie, you get your standard radio report announcing that the worst snow storm since the Ice Age is going hit Mt. Yeti and that all crass, American-led teams in search of a missing link should use extreme caution and expect everyone in their party except the star to be wiped out. So Tom Friend hears that and says: "Lets get going!"
As you might expect, the trip up to the top of the mountain is not without tragedy. McNee gets his ankle all busted up somehow and then the howling of the Yeti begins! McNee goes into a trance whenever the Yetis are around and Dr. Rollason wisely asserts that it must be because McNee is hypersensitive to their presence. Somehow or other Ed Shelley shoots and kills one of these beasts that's been lurking around the camp looking for hot dogs and candy bars, but we are only given a glimpse of its big hairy arm. They think they're building suspense by doing that and yes I did want to see what the dang thing looked like, but only because up until this point the whole movie was a regular hen party and I was hoping to see something that would keep me from dozing off into the open jar of Cheez Whiz that was resting precariously on my semi-exposed gut.
They wrap the thing up and haul it off to a cave. See, Tom Friend has seen all these giant monster movies so he knows that the only way to appreciate a rampaging monster is to exhibit a live one in a major metropolitan area, so this Yeti roadkill just isn't going to cut it. McNee decides to jump off the side of the mountain at about this time. We get to see him go thudding off a big rock and land in a busted up heap.
Dr. Rollason gets there and declares that he was in fact all busted up and immediately everybody blames the Yeti for exercising some kind of mind control on McNee and causing him to do the Dutch off the mountain. If that's the case, why didn't the Yeti just use some hocus pocus mind stuff on them before they even got there? Why doesn't the big, bad Yeti come off of his precious mountain and just bring it to the rest of the world? Why not? Cause he ain't nothing but a big, stupid, stanky wuss!
Tom Friend realizes this and devises an ingenious plan to catch a live Yeti. He has Ed Shelley, the trapper wait in the cave with the corpse of the Yeti he shot, hangs a big steel net up and tells Ed that right before the Yeti comes to eat him, just drop the net on his furry butt. No fuss, no muss. Just to be on the safe side though, Friend loads Shelley's gun with blanks so that when Shelley gets nervous he won't blow the Yeti away like he did the last time.
The Yeti shows up, Ed shoots at it and then Ed dies of a heart attack, a victim of that infernal Yeti's mind control! Eventually, Tom Friend and Dr. Rollason are affected by the mind control and Friend goes off to find the voice of one of his lost men. He starts root-toot-tootin' with his gun and gets himself buried in an avalanche. Then Rollason has a face to face encounter with the Yetis and we get our first look at their faces. They have these Bela Lugosi type eyes that stare at you, lots of hair, and a big penis-shaped nose. His wife finds him semi-frozen and he says (after being thawed out in the microwave) that there is no such thing as the Yeti!
Nigel Kneale wrote the story and screenplay which was based on his television play and he plays with themes here that he better developed in Quatermass And The Pit - strange monsters that we usually think of as being savages (Martians, Yetis) that are actually much more evolved than humans and have developed their mental powers as opposed to their physical abilities.
It worked much better in the Quatermass And The Pit, because you could believe that maybe Martians had strange mental abilities since they were from an alien world. It is less successful here because you basically have overgrown apes living on a really cold mountain with no sign of any type of civilization. You also had a fair deal of action in Quatermass And The Pit to keep things moving so you didn't dwell on how ridiculous the explanations were for what connections some humans had to Martians. With this movie, nothing much happened.
Its origins as TV play were obvious with all the low-budget yikking and yakking that went on. I also never really understood why Peter Cushing was going up with Tom Friend. Surely he knew who this guy was. You don't sign on to something like this without checking the background of the people you're going with. What did he think was going to happen? And what does a botanist know about looking for abominable snowmen, anyway? You'd be better off watching one of the other two Hammer films released that year (Quatermass 2 and The Curse of Frankenstein). Psychic Yetis? Maybe the Brits have gotten their revenge on us after all.