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 A strange planet is seen in our solar system and then "strange invaders" show
up. Humans are sent into a panic as a result. "[A]liens from outer space and
fear from beyond our galaxy strike terror into the hearts of mankind!" This
takes place on the coast of Scotland where an alien landing has happened. It's
not long before everyone figures out the alien visitor has plans "for
domination - unleashing a kind of "out-of-this-world" havoc the villagers have
never seen!" They note that to save money, the movie was shot on "the old
Ingrid Bergman Joan of Arc set, using fog to change moods and locations." 1951, 70 minutes, DVD
The director of Detour! The star of The Hideous Sun Demon! The mother of Sally Field! They all come together to bring you this early
1950s misfire marked by it's muddled story and highlighted by its freaky little
alien man! The Man From Planet X is one of those science fiction affairs involving alien invasions on the
Scottish moors. Those of you in search of other films in this genre would do
well to check out the very boring Devil Girl From Mars. It's hard to believe
that a man from Planet X would be more entertaining than a devil girl from Mars
who dresses in black leather, but that's the world we live in. Robert Clarke,
who revels in the fact that his career consisted of a bunch of these B movies,
stars as an American reporter with one of those girly-man thin mustaches. He
spends most of the time running around in his bomber jacket, as if to remind us
that even though he's newspaper man with wuss facial hair, there was a time
when he fought in the war as a bomber or something. Clarke's voice is one that
will prove irritating as the movie wears on, possessed as it is with an accent
from an undetermined locale. Clarke's character John Lawrence begins the movie
by writing out what has happened in the past. He says a lot dire things about
how there's a really big trouble going on where he's at and we flashback to see
how he got to that point. Lawrence is visiting a science pal of his and this
guy is babbling on about a planet that has been discovered sitting about fifty
miles up in the sky. This planet was discovered by an old war buddy/astronomer
named Professor Elliot. Elliot has moved out to some remote island in the U.K.
to get a closer look at what has been dubbed Planet X (I'll bet someone was
lobbying hard for "Planet Elliot."). Elliot has let Lawrence in on all this
because he promised him back when he was helping to win the war by studying the
effects of black holes on Nazi u-boats that if he ever got a really cool
discovery like, say, a Planet X, or something that he would give him the
exclusive. That's probably how Barbara Walters got that Putin dude to sit down
and sell his friendly-Commie routine.  Lawrence rolls out to Scotland in a hurry and you soon realize it wasn't
because he was one of those geeks that subscribes to Sky & Telescope. Guess
which professor who has just discovered a planet also happens to have sex-ay
daughter named Enid? Enid? Wasn't that the name of the grandma who always
tried to give me open-mouth kisses when I was younger (and easier)? Enid is
played by Magaret Field who, as previously alluded to in the opening
paragraph, is mostly famous for spawning Sally Field. I'm not saying that The
Man From Planet X was any great shakes, but I will say that I would much rather
watch it any day of the week rather than one of her kid's flicks (well, with
the possible exception of thoseSmokey And The Banditmovies ). It never ceases to amaze me that in between making
world-shattering
discoveries and coming up with earth-shaking inventions that these brainiacs
have the time (and the social skills) to bed some chick that ain't 350 or 400
lbs so that she gets all preggers and spits out a sexy daughter in her early
twenties. I'm also surprised that the mother to these chicks is almost always
dead. Furthermore, it astounds me that these professors' daughters have
nothing better to do with their lives than stand around lighting daddy's Bunsen
burner and cleaning his beakers (hahaha!). Well, Enid and Lawrence haven't
seen one another since her daddy helped his bomber squadron fold space on
Hitler's arse or something and he manages to make a sly comment about how sweet
her legs are. She gives him a ride back to the big stone tower that serves as
the professor's secret lab so that they can confer about Planet Legs, I mean
Planet X. Also there is a guy named Dr. Mears. He's one of these assistants
that is a slime bag (he's got the chin pubes to prove it, too.) who doesn't
care about science, but only about money! The scoundrel! Just to make sure
that we don't like him they also have Lawrence comment that Mears should have
gotten twenty years for what he did (Enid says he went to prison for awhile).
I kept waiting to find out Mears did that was so heinous, but they never
brought it up again. I'm guessing it had something to do with buggery (that's
one of those "European" crimes we don't have over here).  Lawrence and Eliot catch up on old times like how there's a mysterious planet
hurtling toward earth and it's going to be so close that there might be tidal
waves, earthquakes, and lots of bad hair days. Good times. Good times.
Lawrence gives Mears the evil eye and vice versa and Lawrence realizes that he
probably has a good shot at being the first man to plant his flag on Planet
Legs once Enid tells him that she thinks Mears is creepy and that first thing
in the morning she's going to ask her father to ship him back to the halfway
house with the rest of the parolees. She and Lawrence go out for a walk so
that they can trade goo-goo eyes with one another when all of sudden, out of
nowhere, and can you believe it, they find a strange object that resembles a
little rocket or missile. Lawrence picks it up and it's surprisingly light
(well, this was a low-budget affair - Lawrence didn't think that director
Edward G. Ulmer was really going to waste money commissioning a cast iron prop
did he?). Enid is a dumb girl so she asks if it's an unexploded bomb from the
war when it's plainly obvious that it's some type of object from an advanced
race that lives on a mysterious planet. They haul it back to the lab and Eliot
and Mears check it out. Eliot says, "yep, sure looks mysterious," and wonders
out loud what in tarnation the alien sounding phrase "made on Planet X" which
is stamped on the underside of the object could possibly mean. Mears, being
the con he is immediately determines that if the formula for this lightweight
metal could be tortured out of some small loser alien, he'd be rich beyond his
wildest dreams, could make Enid his love slave, and rule the entire world, nay,
the entire universe! But it's getting late and all this stuff can wait til
morning. She drives Lawrence back to town (he's checked into the Holiday Inn
Express just off I-235 near the fog enshrouded moors - you know it's over by the
old Baskervilles' place) and then gets herself a flat tire on the way back to
her place. Isn't that just like a woman driver? And isn't it also just like a
woman driver to go and get herself mixed up with the mysterious rocket ship (it
looks like a church steeple or one of those pointy things you put at the top of
your Christmas tree) that has crashed on the moors? Enid thinks that maybe
this flying tree-topper might have a cell phone or a jack or something so she
heads over to see if maybe the occupants could help her put her donut on the
car. She sees this little dude, his fairly featureless face encased in a big
goldfish bowl staring back at her, giving her the once over and she runs
screaming off into the night before the alien can do something like impregnate
her
or call Triple A or something. 
Enid returns home hooting and howling about some alien that was all hands and
rouses her hundred year old father from his sleep. "Is it time for Wheel of Fortune," he asks rubbing his eyes. Enid gets him to come with her to the moors to
check out this spaceship. Skulking behind them in the darkness is Mears (make
sure you don't forget he is up to no good!) who stands around out of sight
sinisterly rubbing his goatee in the fog. Enid and Pops get to the ship and
have a looksy. This thing that looks a bit like a round spatula on a hinged
arm comes out and swings around. This has the effect of putting the old goof
in a trance. Enid manages to get away with her father and the trance wears off
later. In the morning Lawrence shows up and he and Mears and Eliot all head
out to the spaceship (it's becoming quite the tourist attraction - kind of like
the low incoming housing complex south of town that burned up last year and now
has been turned into a flea market - only on the lower floor mind you, since
the upper floor is a charred husk). Once at the ship, this little alien feller
clambers out of the ship and stares at our human friends (except Mears who we
hate!). He's short, pale-skinned, wears a lot of cumbersome equipment and only
makes a strange sound instead of talking. He also holds out his hands a lot
like he wants his homies to lay him some skin. Lawrence thinks the guy might
be friendly, but can't figure out how to communicate with the creature. Then
the creature starts messing around with a knob on his neck. He's trying to
twist it, but his glove is so bulky and the knob so badly placed that he can't
get it
turned. This is like his oxygen tank (well, whatever he was breathing) because
he passes out and falls over when he can't get it moved to the correct
position. Lawrence rushes over to help him, quickly figuring out that this
dude can't breathe. You can see Mears forcing himself to sit tight and not go
through this thing's pockets and rob him blind like he was that little jerk
from the Sopranos (allegedly) . Lawrence twists the knob and the man from
Planet X gets revived. Then everyone goes home leaving the alien there. Or so
they thought, because once they get home, they look back down the road and who
do you think is following them? Can we keep him? Please! Please! He just
followed us home, we didn't encourage him or anything? Please! It looks so
cold and hungry! So Enid reluctantly agrees to the boys entreaties to have an
alien pet (this was used 35 years later as the concept for the hit comedy
series ALF). After getting his litter box set up the boys set about trying to
communicate with the creature. Mears decides he's going to do it through
geometry. Everyone decides that's a good idea and leave him to it. Since he
wants the formula for the lightweight metal, Mears' dedication to the geometry
theory is not all that strong and he takes a new tact. We see Mears advancing
on the creature and messing around with his knob
(Whoa! Doesn't that violate his parole?) saying that he is going to start
rationing the stuff for the alien. The next morning everyone is surprised to find that the alien has run away from
home! Eliot is sick in bed with the flu or is just old. Whatever the reason,
it is up to Lawrence and Mears to go back to the spaceship and locate him. The
cops eventually get hip to all this (what with all the people turning up
missing and the rapidly increasing group of entranced people that have suddenly
appeared at the
old crashed spaceship just outside of town). Finally Scotland Yard arrives
with their bazookas and give Lawrence some time limit to go out to the ship to
recover Eliot, Enid and the rest of the townspeople that have suddenly been
abducted. They are going to blow it up at 11:00 whether Lawrence gets everyone
rescued or not. You know, you would think that the authorities would be
interested in trying to mount some type of rescue effort, but I guess they're
just going to leave it up to the gusty American. Ain't that just like
Europeans? He runs out there and sees everyone digging and encounters Mears who
is in a trance and Mears tells him the dastardly plan about Planet X. It
doesn't really make much sense (if they can land one ship here, why not the
whole fleet?). If Mears knew about this when he was torturing the thing, he
surely would have seen the danger the entire world was in (and more importantly
himself) and surely would have spilled the beans. I mean, who cares how you
got the info, when it is so damning? Anyway, Lawrence tells all these people
to leave and I guess they do and Enid and her father get rescued. Mears later
returns to the ship to try and get his formula or work out some type of deal
with the aliens, but he and those little varmits are blasted back into the
depths of space by those handy bazookas the cops brought along. Planet X
passes on by, causing a little damage, but nothing more severe than a city
experiences when their team wins the Super Bowl. An okay effort, but falls
short of other invasion flicks of the time like The Thing and Invaders From Mars. The alien has an interesting look, but he gets minimal screen time, no
dialogue and his plans are relayed second hand by Mears. The movie didn't seem
to be able to decide what it wanted to be. Was it an alien invasion flick?
Was it one of those deals where we ruined our chances to communicate with an
alien race because of our greed? It seems like the alien was friendly enough
when they first encountered it. After it got beat up by Mears though, it
developed this invasion plan, enslaved an army of humans and was building a
runway or something for the rest of his pals on Planet X. If this was the
alien's plan all along why didn't he do it to begin with? Why didn't he put
the hex on these human dummies when they let him stay at their place? Why was
he the only one here? And if this was his plan all along, then Mears had the
right idea in torturing him to get the information out of him. That kind of
makes Lawrence an also-ran as far as heroes go. When you think about, Lawrence
didn't really do anything to combat the alien. He just ran out there told
everyone to leave before they got all blowed up and that was it. In spite of
some of these lapses, the movie stands above the usual dreck of the day,
because of the good use of sets and miniatures by director Ulmer. He's able to
evoke a dark, creepy atmosphere with the isolated location, the mist and fog,
and the undefined facial features of the alien give it a slightly nightmarish
quality. Poor follow through on the story prevent this from being a classic or
even good, but Ulmer executes things visually a lot better than he had any
right to considering the budget and story limitations (if you don't believe me,
compare it with the cruddy looking Devil Girl From Mars) so it's not a total waste of time for fans of the genre.
Reviews © 2004
MonsterHunter
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