 This is called a "laugh-filled campus romp" and features Tommy Kirk and Annette
Funicello as a couple who go to Midvale College. Tommy is a "gifted but
slightly oddball student" named Merlin Jones and he and Annette have a "series
of comic misadventures." Tommy tries to solve some crimes and "no one is
exempt from Merlin's wacky sense of oddball adventure." How many times did
they have to use the word "oddball" on the back of the box anyway? 1964, 90 minutes, VHS Generally I'm opposed to these movies where they don't actually have enough
story to last ninety minutes and have to resort to what amounts to pasting
together two episodes of what should have been a television show. I think that
the whole point of a feature film is to tell a story, so big, so towering, so
important, that it should take up at least an hour and a half of my time (or
about seventy minutes for one of those Japan Shock sex-horror movies that
always seem to overstay their welcome, even at that brisk pace).
I say that I'm generally opposed to this practice, which means in the case of Merlin Jones
and his antics, I'm all for it. See, the title of the movie refers to some
"misadventures" that would be transpiring throughout the duration of the movie,
so I was hoping, nay, I was demanding several unrelated bits of hi-jinks
involving Midvale's wackiest college-aged inventor to ever date Annette
Funicello. If this movie let me down at all, it was that there simply
weren't enough misadventures detailed, though even the filmmakers would
acknowledge this and immediately respond to American's insatiable appetite for
pointless experiments involving chimps and long-suffering girlfriends by
serving up a sequel, The Monkey's Uncle, only a year later.
There isn't a story per se going on in this one - it's
more of an episodic slice of life affair, detailing a few days in the
topsy-turvy life of Merlin Jones, a guy that spends his time driving around
town with a helmet containing lots of wires and electrodes on his head. That's
why this movie is really a good one to sit down and watch with your handicapper
kid. You can point out to Junior that in Merlin, you have an
example of a kid that has to wear a helmet and still manages to get the
girl in the end. Shoot, Merlin even gets Annette to put the helmet on in an
effort to try and get jiggy with her. (Don't mistake this Merlin guy as some
wimpy toad that is spending his time pining away for Jeri Ryan on Star Trek reruns - most of his experiments seem to end up with him kissing a babe or in front
of the local judge.) 
Things begin at good old Midvale Vocational Institute with Merlin working on a
really souped up EEG machine (whenever Tommy Kirk was rattling off lots
technobabble about his electroencephalograph and his erectile
dysfunctionometer, I couldn't help but be reminded of a young, fresh faced,
Wesley Crusher from that one Star Trek where the captain was all bald and
stuff. Then I couldn't help but be reminded that I wish Jeri Ryan was in this
movie instead of Annette.) and he's working with a bunch gadgets and doodads
and some wire touches another wire and the next thing you know, Merlin's helmet
is electrified and he's flopping around like John Coffey after walking that
green mile.
I'm sure that Merlin tried to take it back, but it was too late
and the next thing you know, Merlin isn't dead, brain damaged, or even wet his
pants, but he has acquired a brand spanking new super power! He can hear other
people's thoughts! So how long do you think it is before he hears somebody's
thoughts and ends up mistaking what they're thinking for some type of crime
spree they're planning? About half a day. (He had to try his powers out in the
library before he got really down to business.)
So he hears somebody thinking about planning a crime or already having done a crime and since
Merlin is an upright young man (probably all those electroshock treatments
he's always inadvertently giving himself) he's ready to go to the cops and
stop this criminal mastermind. But who is the Snidely Whiplash that's plotting
and scheming all these diamond heists? A judge! But not just any judge - it's
the very judge who has sworn to crack down on all those college inventors that
are always driving around Midvale's red light district with their EEG helmets
and their EKG codpieces on. College inventors just like Merlin Jones! And it
so happens that Merlin has just gone in front of the judge and had his license
suspended for ten days and must reappear at the end of those ten days to see if
he can get it back.
You can imagine the fuzz's reaction when Merlin tries to
get them to put a stop to the judge's crime wave based on the thoughts he
"overheard" while working as a waiter with Nat and Jason Priestly at the Peach
Pit. Eventually he convinces the cops that he can read minds, but they still
won't go dig up the judge's rose bushes to find the diamonds he's hidden there.
Merlin immediately goes into Terror Alert Level 5 and gets Annette to grab a
shovel and head out with him under cover of darkness to start digging the
evidence up on his own. Merlin isn't one of these eggheads who sits around the
lab debating esoteric implications of his various experiments. He's out and
about as soon as some problem brought up by his lab work rears its ugly head.
Heck, before he went over to the Judge's house to dig up the flower bed, he was
already over there in his plumber disguise snooping around for clues. (And he
even fixed the Judge's leaky faucet in the process!)
Merlin gets busted for digging up the flowers and everyone goes into the judge's house where he
explains that he has all these thoughts about crime and stuff because he is
really secretly best-selling crime novelist Lex Fortas. He's keeps it a secret
so that he retain his privacy and is just coming up with the plot to his latest
thriller. Strangely, he offers no explanation as to the thoughts in his head
about a girl scout uniform, long blonde wig, and a sailor. In any event,
everyone has a hearty laugh at what a whacky adventure that all turned out to
be, the cops promise not tell anyone who Lex Fortas is, the judge gives Merlin
his license back, and Merlin doesn't ask Annette why she kept thinking about the
cop's nightstick.
When it was all done, I was thinking, "well that was pretty
good - we had some misunderstandings, some solid gags in the library where
everyone was thinking funny stuff, and a kid with a helmet on his head, but you
know what would have really elevated Merlin Jones' game from role-player to
franchise player? A chimp! Don't sweat it though because the guys in charge of this movie are seasoned pros
with the authors and director having worked on several classic Disney live-action
projects, so they know when they need to haul the smelly monkey
out of the prop room along with all the lines about "going ape" and "monkeying
around." 
But how to work the chimp into things? How indeed. Merlin's science class
begins a unit on hypnotism and you don't have to be a Merlin Jones to see where
this thing is heading. First though, we need to lay some foundation for
Merlin's knowledge of hypnotism. Everything he knows he learned from his
professor when he used Merlin for a test subject. This involved such
hilarity as Merlin eating a potato, but thinking it was an apple, getting
Merlin to drink some water, but thinking it was whiskey, and by having him kiss
the first pretty girl he saw, which unfortunately was not Annette.
This caused about thirty-five seconds of domestic trouble until Merlin babbled about how
all this hypnotism could be used to make someone realize his full potential.
For some reason, Merlin has a thing for helping animals realize their full
potential and the second half of the film concentrates on his efforts to
hypnotize animals ranging from a cat to a chimp to a judge! I
couldn't help but feel like I was witnessing one of the great moments in cinema
history when I was watching Tommy Kirk trying to hypnotize a cat. This cat is
scared of dogs, so Merlin hypnotizes him to be really tough, like a lion or
something and before you know it, the little dickens is chasing dogs up trees
and roaring.
Next stop is the research lab housing Stanley the chimp, who is
being watched by the num-nutted Norman, a football player who is mean to
Stanley. Merlin uses his hypnotic powers to get Stanley to "stand up for his
rights" and this involves Stanley punching out Norman and causing Norm to go
crashing into a bunch of beakers and getting conked on his noggin. Merlin is brought
up on assault charges and the truth comes out about how Norman mistreats
Stanley and in the end the judge issues protective orders preventing
either Merlin or Norman from harassing Stanley. After the case is over, the
judge smells a good plot for the eagerly awaited next Lex Fortas novel and
enlists Merlin and his expertise in hypnotism. The judge wants Merlin to
hypnotize him into committing a crime ("Nothing felonious", the judge says. "A
misdemeanor will do").
Merlin realizes that since the judge wants nothing felonious, that playing
stinkyfinger is out, so he cobbles up the next best plan: he'll hypnotize the
judge into kidnapping Stanley the chimp! Guess who gets caught when he tries
to return the chimp? It sure ain't the judge! Guess who has no memory of
stealing the chimp? That would be the judge.
Merlin goes on trial for the chimpnapping and tells Annette in an amusing jailhouse scene that he is going
to try and use an old oriental method of hypnosis that just involves hand
gestures and music on the judge in court to get him to recall that he really
stole the chimp. I dare you not to snicker when they're in court and Annette
is making a kazoo noise with a napkin while Merlin is using all these
swami-style hand motions on the judge.
Anyway, I've been in on several court cases (don't ask - those records are sealed) and I can tell you from first hand
experience that when you're the defense and your only witness is a
chimpanzee, you are what we in the biz call "tits up to the moon." And yes
this is the type of film where the bailiff attempts to swear the chimp in!
Somehow or other it all works out, but only after Merlin gets convicted and
gets sixty days suspended for his trouble.
Obviously, this movie busts some blood vessels from trying so hard
to be funny, but there are enough moments of dopey teen inventor fun to keep you mildly satisfied. (Really,
are you going to sit there and tell me that Tommy Kirk hypnotizing a chimp to
beat up a football player isn't by definition a must see moment?) Kirk, who
we all loathed in the lifeless Mars Needs Women is actually pretty good at selling his good natured enthusiasm for his
experiments and gets off some nice facial expressions during the stranger
occurrences he encounters.
Annette doesn't have a lot to do in this, other than
play the befuddled and put upon gal pal, but she generates some laughs when she's
visiting Merlin in jail and busts out every bit of cliched jail conversation
you could think of (I'll wait for you for all eternity! I'm worried about your
prison pallor! Don't pick up the soap!). The first half of the movie is a bit
bland and any yuks you'll get are mainly in the second half, but it's like I
always say, " a half a movie starring a chimp is always desirable to a whole
movie without a chimp or one with a horse (unless that horse can talk and/or kick
field goals).
Reviews © 2003
MonsterHunter
Reviews © 2004
MonsterHunter
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