 Errol Flynn is Geoffrey Thorpe, a pirate who "plunders for the good of Britain"
and also happens to be "the most dashing swordsman ever to sail the seas." He
even risks everything for his country when he gets imprisoned on a Spanish war
ship. This one got four Oscar nominations (no wins though) back in 1940,
including nods for Special Effects and Musical Score. 1940, 127 minutes, VHS
Apparently there's a book out there somewhere (maybe at like a library or
something) that's called The Sea Hawk. This movie is based on that book and by
that I mean that it's based on that book's title. The story in this Errol
Flynn pirate vehicle is really based on Sir Francis Drake and his crazy
adventures with the Sea Dogs. Clearly, a bunch of Sea Hawks is much more manly
than the Sea Dogs, which sound more like a bunch of horny swimmers than
charming rogues who delight in putting those Spaniards and their silly helmets
in their place. Unfortunately though, a guy by the name of Francis isn't
really going to work as a movie star unless he is both a mule and able to talk,
so Francis Drake finds himself suddenly being called Geoffrey Thorpe. That
sounds a lot more like a character who is simultaneously a gentleman and an
athlete. I appreciate a movie that isn't going to let sissy stuff like history
and facts get in the way of a well-formulated adventure that shows us what a
real man Errol Flynn was.
If you have any doubt about the type of chromosomes
you're dealing with regarding Mr. Flynn, you'll note that he manages to be the
toughest SOB on the high seas even with that little teeny mustache and
studiously wavy hair that acts as well as he does, showing its mettle in scenes
where he's involved in derring-do as well as in scenes where he's a sweaty and
dirty galley slave. Did I mention that he's even one of those cool guys that
doesn't threaten us regular loser guys? You see, in the movie's sole and quite
fleeting attempt at character development (ahh, so this isn't going to get a
pass just because it's supposed to be a "classic"), Thorpe finds himself quite
shy around purty gals except for the Queen. Of course, as some of his fellow
Sea Hawks point out, that's pretty much like talking man to man anyway. She
wasn't known as Elizabeth The Dogfaced for nothing you know. 
The year is fifteen hundred and something (sorry, my sock monkey ate my notes)
and the seas are the battleground where a struggle for man's very soul is
playing out. Well, it's at least a battleground where some English pirates
take every chance they get to shove it up some Spanish hind end by sinking
their boats and stealing their treasure. Queen Elizabeth proves her prowess as a ruler by claiming to the Spanish that
she is outraged, just outraged I say, that these rogue Brits are sailing
around, politely marauding and thieving and that she is going to be putting
them on double secret probation as soon as possible and that King Philip
shouldn't sweat these bandits anymore because she's going to chew them out once
they get back from sinking the Spanish ambassador's ship.
The first twenty
minutes is pure pirate action in the best sense, complete with boats colliding,
canons going off, chunks of wood flying through the air and lots of guys
swinging around on ropes. When I saw Errol ordering the crew around, locked in
mortal combat with those Spanish turds, while bodies piled up and masts collapsed all
around him, I found myself excited that this was the restored version of the
movie that ran in excess of two hours. Usually, they saved this sort of stuff
for the end of things. I had expected the beginning to be some bogus secret
origin story about how the Spanish stole his dog or his old lady ditched him
for a guy named Diego and that Thorpe somehow got himself in with a bunch of
freedom fighting pirates or something and that through all his valor and other
outdated junk, became their popularly elected captain who had vowed to defeat
the Spanish armada for queen, country, and his old lady or dog. But we skipped
over all that and jumped right into things. Unfortunately, we then jumped
right out of things and that opening sequence would be the last pirate action
you would see in this one. 
Once Thorpe has taken everyone aboard the Spanish ship prisoner, we run into
the love interest played quite ineptly by Brenda Marshall. I was really
surprised because I always like Brenda Marshall in that one movie where she was
that one chick who did that thing with that deal and it slowly dawned on me
that I had no idea who Brenda Marshall was (still don't) except that she's
pointlessly snotty and Thorpe is pointlessly smitten. What's wrong with these
Errol Flynn pirates anyway? You know he has some serving wench in every port
and that he's a love'em and leave'em with the clap kind of guy, so why is he
always falling in love with stuck up rich girls when he's from the wrong side
of the ocean?
The movie scored some points when they had the girl getting
mouthy with Thorpe about what a scummy pirate he was to be taking people
prisoner and stealing their treasure only to have Thorpe retort that he wasn't
the one with all the English galley slaves or all the stolen Aztec treasure and
all the bootlegged movies. Us playahs out there know that the way into a
woman's drawers is to call her a hypocrite and to call into question the
morality of her culture, so I was really surprised when she turned her nose up
and strutted back to her cabin. Thorpe's been watching Dr. Phil though, so she
finds that he's returned all her jewels and included a note that only a pirate
would steal a lady's jewels (yes, but only a playah would write a note like
that). When she basks in the glow of her bestest friends, Ruby and Topaz, you
can see her getting ready to shuck her playah-hatin' gimmick.
Back in England
the queen has been harassed by these Spanish wusses into calling a meeting of
the Sea Hawks. Things get off to a bit of a rough start when Thorpe is late
because his pet monkey got loose in the palace. I'd be remiss if I didn't
mention that this movie didn't develop the character of the monkey nearly
enough. With him playing around in the queen's make up and doffing the little
hat he wore at every opportunity, I felt like we had a lot of untapped
potential with that rascally little fella. 
Elizabeth tells the Sea Hawks to cut it out and that she needs to see Thorpe in
private so that she can really tell him off. Once in her bedroom (ooo-la-la!),
Thorpe immediately details some harebrained scheme he has that involves going
down to Panama and ripping off a bunch of Spanish gold. He is convinced that
the Spanish are secretly plotting to attack England with an armada of ships and
that the English need to get some bling-bling together to build their own
armada to fend them off. Like Elizabeth, I had no idea why in the world the
Spanish would be all torqued off at the English. I mean, Elizabeth is always
really apologetic after pirates ruin one of Spain's ships and makes off with
its treasure. Why do those Spaniards have to be so dang hypersensitive.
The queen thinks that Thorpe's plan is crazy and doesn't have a chance in hell of
working (suicide mission, anyone?), but that if there is one small chance of it
working than to go ahead and do it, but that if he's caught she will disavow
all knowledge of him and his plot. This is black bag stuff. You know, special
ops detail that's "off the books" and known only to guys really high up in the
Company. At this point, I was expecting Robert Ludlum to start churning out a
book called The Panama Imperative or Thorpe's Game or something. Instead we had the movie inexplicably turn from black and white
into a sickly sepia color that made me want to ride my contrast button the
entire time we were in the "new world".
As is so often the case in these
million-to-one-shot missions, there's a mole in the government and Thorpe gets
ambushed in the swamps of Panama and ends up in leg irons with his pirate pals
on a Spanish ship. Meanwhile, back in England, his Spanish girlfriend has
suddenly developed this overwhelming passion for Thorpe and refuses to leave
England for Spain on the eve of the big armada attack. While there's a chance
that he'll come back and save the day with a big sword fight against the mole
in the palace, she's going to hang around to watch. What woman is going to
miss out on Errol waving his sword around?
Remember how Thorpe and his fellow pirates where enslaved on a Spanish ship
with no hope of escaping and averting a sneak attack on England by the Spanish?
In the kind of coincidence that only happens when you're Errol Flynn, this
just happens to be the boat that is transporting the secret e-mails from the
King of Spain to the mole saying that Elizabeth is a big ugly hooch and that it
is going to be so sweet to see the look on her mannish face when he drives a
galleon right up onto London Bridge and forces all those dingy-teethed Brits to
call each other amigo instead of bloke or chum or mate or whatever they say.
There's the expected break out by Thorpe and his crew and a return to England
where he reunites with his gal pal and battles the mole in a climatic sword
fight. Flynn sells these actions scenes very well and when he's taking on four
Spanish guards at once, I have no doubt that he had the talent to handle
himself in that situation. He puts a lot of oomph in the last sword fight,
jumping around, chopping up candles, tipping over furniture, and stabbing
people before breathlessly presenting the queen the evidence of the impending
invasion. The movie has nice action sequences, notably the early ship battle,
the escape from the galley ship, and the final sword fight. Director Michael
Curtiz utilizes a surprisingly fluid style for the time period letting the
camera pan across the action and even uses a very effective overhead shot when
Thorpe is surveying his apparently empty ship shortly before being ambushed.
I found it hard to believe that this restored version increased character
development, because even at two hours and seven minutes, none of the
characters made much of an impression. Flynn is compelling with the material
he has, but I was remembering how much more of a person his role in Captain Blood seemed to be. Peter Blood was a much more fleshed out character than Thorpe.
The idea that Thorpe was this dashing rogue who was shy around the ladies is
interesting but is brought up early and promptly forgotten about for most of
the movie.
The love story between him and Brenda Marshall is completely grafted
on and you get the feeling that even if she had a role of substance that Brenda
Marshall would never be able to carry off her part of things like Olivia de Haviland. Short on standard pirate antics and interesting
characters, but full of good action set pieces, Flynn puts this movie on his
back with his innate charm when given the opportunity and is good enough to
make you wish this movie was a little better than it was. Things threaten to
run aground on the shallow waters of the script, but it's Errol Flynn that
bails us out as we hope and expect.
Reviews © 2004
MonsterHunter
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