MonsterHunter

Dr. Jekyll And Sister Hyde is a Hammer Films remake of the Robert Louis Stevenson classic about a doctor that goes and drinks some of his own bilge water in an attempt to do some kind of experiment. Obviously, I have never read the book because, well, it’s a book, but do I have a little experience with some of the themes in this movie. I’ve watched Abbott & Costello Meet Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hyde so I think I can safely say that I’m well versed enough in the story to qualify as a “film scholar” on the subject. Read More »

When this was released in the U.S. it was retitled The Devil’s Bride, probably because The Devil Rides Out really doesn’t make any sense, but there wasn’t any bride the devil was trying to get either. Oh, there was some wimpy looking girl that the bad guy constantly harassed but I never got the feeling that he was after anything other than just another disciple. In fact, the title is really the only lame part of this film from Hammer starring Christopher Lee. Read More »

Anytime I watch a movie and the opening credits roll by saying that it is based on a play, I cringe. If you’ve ever been to a play (and really, why would you if have anything resembling a life?) the one thing that is the hallmark of the form is that the characters talk and talk and talk some more. Read More »

Here’s what I’m going to recommend to sensitive British chap Bill, the star of this BBC miniseries: a little less time giving me lectures about how we shouldn’t have a bunch of satellites in space protecting our national security and a whole lot more killer plant fighting. It isn’t bad enough that Bill is unable to contain his socialist/commie views to himself for the full two and a half hours of things, but once he decides to unload on us, he just pulls it straight out of his bum! Where else would his theory that everyone on Earth had been blinded not by killer meteors in league with killer plants (the most common sense explanation) but by some weapon up in space equipped with blinding radiation that went haywire and fried everyone’s optic nerve? Did your teachers ever tell you about the smell test? Basically, it posits that if the answer you came up with smells like it came from inside Bill’s left wing bum, then it probably did! Read More »

You know, for being chunks of rock whizzing through the air, filmmakers sure do give meteors a lot of credit when it comes to contributing to the end of civilization as we know it. I can recall films where meteors (or comets) have been blamed for such various debacles as making the dead walk the earth, turning people into dust, causing all electrical devices to rebel against their human masters (especially that semi with the Green Goblin on the front), and causing plants to run around eating people. This non-exhaustive tally does not include the movies where meteors do more routine damage like causing tidal waves and blocking out the sun with the debris they kicked up on deep impact causing Armageddon to ensue. Read More »

This has to be my favorite movie about the Crimean War! It certainly leaves all those other movies like um, the, uh, one where those guys were fighting Crimeans or something, in the dust. Obviously, this movie had a giant strike against it as soon as it was mistakenly sent to me (that Crimean family across the street is probably wondering why the heck they got that Complete Planet Of The Apes Television Series DVD set) since it involved a war I had never heard of. I didn’t even know where this Crimea place was. I assumed that it was probably some country in Africa that changed its name every time some new guy took office after the old guy got hacked up or deported to France. Read More »

Instantly boring, this British production from the early 1970s about a guy who goes to Greece because he’s impotent and ends up getting turned into a vampire by a hot broad also manages to be insanely stupid. While I’m sure this movie had great appeal for all those British dudes without any motion in their ocean, for us American guys with plenty of rise in our Levis, the whole thing seemed a bit silly! Read More »

This Hammer Films effort is infamous because everyone that worked on it died, giving it a nice sense of realism because we all know that everyone that ever robbed the tomb of an ancient Egyptian super villain also died in real life! Remember the curse of King Tut’s tomb? Ten years after Tut’s burial chamber was opened, six of the twenty-six people that were present for that had all died! Read More »

This is probably about my third favorite moth movie behind Mothra and The Silence Of The Lambs. Has the idea of giant blood-sucking moths ever kept you up late at night? Did you ever wonder if maybe in the deepest, unexplored regions of Africa that maybe there were moths that could be collected by crazy British scientists so that they could develop them into man-sized creatures that flew around and laid a Dracula-style smackdown all over innocent dopes that just happen to be wandering around the scenic English countryside? Read More »

Back in olden times when dinosaurs still walked the Earth and everyone wanted a Teddy Ruxpin for Christmas, Noel Coward was supposedly this giant star. Author, singer, fancy lad - he did it all and did it in what us open-minded folk would call “British style.” What that means is that he was the sort of chap to smoke his cigarettes in those long holders that I thought were reserved for Eurobabes like Marlene Dietrich and vapid posers like Madonna. Read More »