MonsterHunter

The least believable thing in this movie is that Scotland Yard would ever hire Abbott and Costello to be bobbies in some kind of pilot program testing out how well Americans do in British law enforcement. I’m not sure what the point of this program was or even how Bud and Lou got selected for this gig, but this dopey project is just the excuse we need to get our boys overseas so that they can mix it up with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. This time around Bud and Lou go by the names of Slim and Tubby (I’ll leave it to you to puzzle out who’s who) and they do about as well policing the mean streets of London as you expect them to. Just what sort of heinous crimes are they trying to halt while on duty? Read More »

Having ridden the success of their monster films for somewhere in the neighborhood of 15 years, by 1948 Universal had gone through about all the permutations of monsters battling one another they could think of. In an effort to suck even more money out of these played out ideas, they decided to insert their monsters into a comedy starring Bud and Lou. The first of what turned out to be an ongoing series of these horrorific comedies is Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein and it is by far and away the best of the series and probably about the funniest horror spoof out there. Read More »

I’m sure all of you remember the very first Invisible Man sequel, The Invisible Man Returns . That movie starred the voice of Vincent Price and Sir Cedric Hardwicke. Price portrayed a slightly prissy owner of a mine who is wrongly accused of murdering his brother. Price has a doctor at the mine shoot himself up with some invisible juice so that he can be free to roam around looking for the “real killers.” While he does this, he also has to hurry up and get it done before the drug makes him crazy. As you might expect, he succeeds in finding the real killers and gets a blood transfusion that turns him back visible. Read More »

By 1955 Abbott and Costello had met just about every monster Universal had to offer. The only one that had escaped their withering satire was the Mummy. Of course by the end of the Kharis films in 1944, many probably already believed that the Mummy was a joke. No matter though as Universal cranked out one last gasp in the Abbott and Costello meet the Monster of the Week oeuvre. This one looked chintzy and the gags were more rickety than ever, though the film was not without its amusing moments (almost exclusively provided by Costello). Read More »

Director Frank Capra, known for his movies about the great American underdog, war propaganda films, and for that one where Jimmy Stewart saves Christmas, explores the glorious American family in Arsenic And Old Lace and shows us that the violent, murderous society we pride ourselves on now, isn’t merely some recent invention of the absent parent, video game industry, and liberal media bias. Read More »

This movie, according to the liner notes (how do you get a job writing liner notes for forgettable 70s British sexploitation pictures anyway?) was trying to capitalize on a fad that was sweeping across Britain at the time. Supposedly it was the “in” thing to do to have yourself an au pair girl. I guess some genius came up with the idea that since British women were so fugly, they would import chicks from better looking countries (Denmark, Sweden, the South Pacific) to come and do light household chores around the home. Light household chores like the husband. I’m not sure what the British woman thought of this whacky new fad, but if it meant that she didn’t have some beak-nosed guy with crooked teeth and werewolf sideburns trying to paw her every night after a hearty meal of fish and chips, then I’ll bet there wasn’t a lot of noisy complaints around the flat. Read More »

I’ll admit it - I went and took a dump while Frankie Avalon was singing “These Are The Good Times” at the Pavilion run by old Big Drop (Don Rickles), but I can’t blame my sudden need to evacuate three days worth of cereal and tuna solely on Frankie. I suspect that just as much of the credit can been given to the several prior musical numbers in this movie, some more stool-loosening than others. (The songs performed by biker gang member Eric Von Zipper come immediately to mind.) Read More »

The Gilbreths, whose sole claim to fame is that they have never heard of birth control, stage an unwelcome return in this, the sequel to the insipid Cheaper By The Dozen and the results are more of the same: meandering stories that don’t hold your interest, moments designed to evoke laughs that succeed only in provoking yawns, and the complete downplaying of all but about two or three of the daughters. Read More »

Back in olden times when dinosaurs still walked the Earth and everyone wanted a Teddy Ruxpin for Christmas, Noel Coward was supposedly this giant star. Author, singer, fancy lad - he did it all and did it in what us open-minded folk would call “British style.” What that means is that he was the sort of chap to smoke his cigarettes in those long holders that I thought were reserved for Eurobabes like Marlene Dietrich and vapid posers like Madonna. Read More »

Robert Altman and Paul Newman team up to give us some revisionist history about America’s greatest hero, Buffalo Bill. Mind you, I have no idea what Buffalo Bill ever did that was so dang great. I’m guessing that he killed hisself some buffalo and Indians or something back in times when that sort of thing could pass for an occupation. Read More »

Cary Grant is pretty much on social security by this time and is merely phoning in the same performance that worked so well when he wasn’t 135 years old and when he had material that wasn’t intent on portraying him as a not very amusing dirty old man. Co-star Audrey Hepburn comes off as just a wispy thing with an accent who spends all her time chasing after Cary Grant even though she periodically suspects him of being a cold blooded killer. The supporting cast includes Breath-A-Sure spokesman George Kennedy as well as James Coburn and their villains appear closer to buffoons then to menacing and calculating thieves. And all the hoopla is over three rare stamps! I suppose the guys from my dad’s stamp club would enjoy it, but they do belong to a stamp club. Read More »

Right out of the gate this movie suffers from a major handicap: the suspension of disbelief that it requires as it relates to its casting is bigger than the size of the brood that is apparently supposed to be the major selling point of the film. First of all, am I really expected to believe that Myrna Loy would really let Clifton Webb touch her once, let alone a minimum of twelve times? Bickering with William Powell in between solving murder cases, I can buy, but any interaction with Clifton beyond a polite “how do you do” doesn’t really ring true. Read More »

Two things usually mark Christmas at the MonsterHunter household: someone always ruins it and the present opening lasts longer than Rip Van Winkle’s nap. The ruination of the holiday (and generally of all holidays) is covered in our look at The Man Who Came To Dinner , but I found myself reminded of the lengthy de-gifting process that goes on at my house as I watched Barbara Stanwyck valiantly (and vainly) try to get this Christmas-themed screwball comedy out of first gear. Like the last four hour long Christmas session under my tree, I was wondering when this would be over and who thought it was a good idea for me to drink so much soda before it started. (Trust me - this movie and opening presents isn’t anything you would want to pause.) Read More »

This is another one of those screwball comedies they made in the thirties where regular folk are thrown into the strange and kooky world of rich folk. I never tire of seeing the filthy rich act like boobs while falling in love with lower class types. This time the results are very satisfying chiefly because of the witty, if mechanical, script from Preston Sturges and the peppy efforts of Jean Arthur. Ray Milland is also along for the ride as her love interest and watching the young Milland makes you cringe when you remember that thirty years later he would end up in such fare as X - The Man With X-Ray Eyes and Frogs. Cringe because of how long it would take him to get around to making cool movies! Read More »

Mr. Superinvisible is a landmark in the world of cinema chiefly because it proves that co-starring with Sandy Duncan and a duck in $1000000 Duck was not the nadir of Dean Jones’ career! To his credit, Dean at least did the honorable thing and did what so many of our other Silver Screen heroes of days gone by did when in need of easy money - he went to Italy! And easier money was never to be had! Since this a flick where Dean plays a guy who turns invisible, he doesn’t even have to appear in most of it! Just a few days on set to humiliate yourself by wearing a dress or hiding your nasty bits with palm fronds and a couple of hours in the audio booth dubbing dialogue so bad even the regular crew of Italian dubmasters couldn’t be persuaded to do it and BANG! Another six hundred bucks to pay off that 1970 Fiat 124 Sport Spider! Read More »

For those of us that grew up with a pet seal, this movie is like a welcome trip down memory lane! All of us remember the cans of salmon pilfered from the pantry. Those nights long ago when we would hook up an impromptu shower in the tool shed for our slippery friend seem just like yesterday! And I still can’t play a game of checkers without thinking about how my pet seal would always know the best move to make! I guess all that fish really is great brain food! Read More »

I thought I was watching a douche commercial when this movie began. With its shot of two people on a beach and its cloying “These Are The Best Times” song playing in the background, I assumed that a regular dosing of Superdad was going to refresh my most secret of places. Sadly though, I was left with that not so fresh feeling and even more incredibly, by the time Superdad complains to his daughter at her wedding that he smells, I was wishing that this was a douche commercial! Read More »

It usually starts the day after Thanksgiving. Well, to be completely honest, it actually starts pretty much as soon as Thanksgiving dinner is over: the debate over which family member will be ruining Christmas this year. The only reason is doesn’t start sooner is because the month of November is consumed by speculation over who is going to be the one that ruins Thanksgiving. You see, in our family, ruining a holiday is just as much a tradition as opening up Christmas presents on Christmas Eve or going to church on Easter is for regular families. Read More »