MonsterHunter

A blind girl gets a new set of peepers which allow her to see for the first time since she was a tot, but there’s a catch. Not only is she able to see the world around her for the first time in years, she also has acquired this brand new super power where she can see dead people! She can also sort of see the future. And the past. Well, someone else’s past anyway. Then there’s mysterious shadowy guy she sees that accompanies some of the dead people she sees. I felt like I could have used a brain transplant before understanding completely what was going on in this eye transplant movie. Read More »

Generally speaking, a movie containing not one, but two scenes of urination would not receive a good review from this viewer. Some things are best left to the imagination. This film though somehow manages to make it work. Read More »

Never one to shirk my duties of monitoring the various freakish movie subcultures, I have of late been monitoring one of the oddest, the Disney enthusiasts. Prowling around their online havens, I find that they are a strangely conflicted bunch, at once complaining about the direction of the company with its concentration on computer animation, straight to home video projects and the nonconformity of all their various DVD release packaging (remember - these people are obsessive collectors, so it does make a difference if something is packaged as a Gold Edition, Platinum Edition, or Masterpiece Edition), but viciously slapping down anyone who would dare to suggest that Disney is just some money-hungry company like any other corporation that has stockholders to answer to. Read More »

Okay, I’ll admit it - I like Christmas movies. Or I guess I should say that I like the idea of Christmas movies. It seems like that a lot of times when I watch a movie that features Christmas prominently, it never fails to disappoint, substituting cheap platitudes and artificial sentiment for an interesting story or genuine feeling. Read More »

Back in olden times when dinosaurs still walked the Earth and everyone wanted a Teddy Ruxpin for Christmas, Noel Coward was supposedly this giant star. Author, singer, fancy lad - he did it all and did it in what us open-minded folk would call “British style.” What that means is that he was the sort of chap to smoke his cigarettes in those long holders that I thought were reserved for Eurobabes like Marlene Dietrich and vapid posers like Madonna. Read More »

What is it about people, especially those with families and little kids, that once they figure out their brand new mansion that their rich uncle left them is actually haunted by malevolent ghosts, that they don’t move out as soon as the first meat cleaver goes whizzing past their heads? Is it because they couldn’t get a U-Haul rented on such short notice or what? That’s really always been the problem with these haunted house movies -explaining why the people just hang around and suffer the slings and arrows of their otherworldly roomies. Read More »