MonsterHunter

Sometimes at work Aki sees a little boy in the movie theatre. His name is Hideki. You may recall Hideki as the name of the little freak from Evil Dead Trap that sort of lived inside his homicidal brother and ran around killing people (or was that his homicidal brother and Hideki was along for the ride?). As confusing and stupid as the Hideki character was in Evil Dead Trap, they manage to take things to a whole new level in this one. Read More »

Nami is the host a late night talk show and one of the segments they do is to feature home videos that their fans send in. It shouldn’t come as any big surprise that the kind of people who would stay up real late to watch an ugly Japanese woman do a talk show, might be a chopstick shy of a pair, if you catch my meaning. One of the viewer submitted tapes shows someone going through the city and ending up at an abandoned factory where a woman is tortured and killed. To establish that this is one of those “over the top” movies we get a nice long, loving shot of a knife going into her eyeball. Nami is horrified and does what any of us would do. She gets four members of her crew together and they follow the landmarks that were on the video tape and go to the abandoned factory. Read More »

When you have a successful film franchise and you’ve already churned out about fifty sequels, you want to keep it going, but you need to do something to make it seem new and exciting. I can’t believe people ever tire of seeing Godzilla laying the smack down on some lackluster monster every other year, but somebody decided the series needed a kick in the green, scaly tail because it’s time for the “all star team-up” movie. Read More »

From the four corners of the world, eight cyborgs leave their current civilian lives, putting their dreams of being a race car driver, ballerina, and bull fighter (what?) on hold so that they might help one of their own and also to save Earth! Once they join forces, the greatest super team of all team is back in action! Yes true believer, your suspicions are well-founded! The dream is alive and well! Finally after twenty-five years, the Galaxy Legion has reunited to combat evil, to cast light upon the dark, and to find out how 006’s career as a matador is working out! Read More »

In space no one can hear you scream “filler episodes!” Volume 2 of the Cosmo Warrior Zero saga features episodes 5-8 of the thirteen episode series and is highlighted by space pirate Captain Harlock’s giant guard cow rampaging through a wild west town. Usually, those sort of bovine antics would be enough to unhesitatingly recommend the title (even if there was never any of the expected giant cow pie scenes that such a creature promised), but while the story even has a midget killing the giant cow with a bazooka, things grind to a halt when they haul out that most tired of cliches whenever someone is hunting someone else that they secretly respect. Read More »

I picked this particular title up out of the steaming heap of anime that generally featured big-eyed ten year old girls in short cheerleader skirts fighting off horny demons with lots of frisky tentacles because I thought it would be cool instead of deviant. Don’t get your hopes up though, this one isn’t deviant either. Whatever possessed me to think that any kind of anime could be cool? Two words: space pirates! Read More »

Generally speaking, a movie containing not one, but two scenes of urination would not receive a good review from this viewer. Some things are best left to the imagination. This film though somehow manages to make it work. Read More »

Shinya Tsukamoto, who wrote, directed and starred in this nightmarish meditation on self destruction, pain, and anger shows us a Tokyo inhabited solely by thugs, broken men, and speed freaks whose only purpose is to prey upon one another. Like the increasingly obsessive behavior and general derangement that Goda (Tsukamoto) slides quickly into following his lover’s suicide, the city exists only to consume itself, a spawning ground of cancerous hate and violence where there is no love, no trust, and no hope. Read More »

I suppose there’s a reality where a movie featuring an evil floating brain named Glyptofane Sex who is intent on preventing Earth from being re-seeded with human life isn’t just an example of the “let’s use a floating brain as a bad guy just because floating brains are intrinsically evil” school of filmmaking. Read More »

This just in from Japan: Today’s youth are emotionally alienated punks who have no direction and are only able to express their unhappiness by pummeling one another with baseball bats! I am so tired of other countries trying to steal our gimmicks! Read More »