Steven Seagal Archive

  • Anymore these days, you’ll hear a lot of fair weather Seagal fans complaining about their supposedly fallen idol. He doesn’t hardly do any of his own fight scenes anymore! He’s...

    Today You Die (2005)

    Anymore these days, you’ll hear a lot of fair weather Seagal fans complaining about their supposedly fallen idol. He doesn’t hardly do any of his own fight scenes anymore! He’s…

  • This movie started out with a bunch of people getting shot in the head. I was hooked immediately. Actually, I’m exaggerating just a bit. It was when I saw the...

    Submerged (2005)

    This movie started out with a bunch of people getting shot in the head. I was hooked immediately. Actually, I’m exaggerating just a bit. It was when I saw the…

  • Director Michael Keusch brings out the best in Steven Seagal. He got Steve to stab a bunch of folks in Attack Force and in Shadow Man he somehow convinces Steve...

    Shadow Man (2006)

    Director Michael Keusch brings out the best in Steven Seagal. He got Steve to stab a bunch of folks in Attack Force and in Shadow Man he somehow convinces Steve…

  • There’s an outbreak in the mountains of Montana! An outbreak of Seagal! Steven Seagal plays the tan and puffy Dr. Wesley McClaren, a local doctor who specializes in homeopathic remedies...

    The Patriot (1998)

    There’s an outbreak in the mountains of Montana! An outbreak of Seagal! Steven Seagal plays the tan and puffy Dr. Wesley McClaren, a local doctor who specializes in homeopathic remedies…

  • You know what I like about Steven Seagal? He isn’t afraid to go anywhere in the world to knock the crap out of some scuzz who’s up to no good....

    Out of Reach (2004)

    You know what I like about Steven Seagal? He isn’t afraid to go anywhere in the world to knock the crap out of some scuzz who’s up to no good….

  • For reasons that elude me to this very day, wimpy archeologist Indiana Jones enjoys quite a large fanbase. This is a guy who spends most of his movies running from...

    Out for a Kill (2003)

    For reasons that elude me to this very day, wimpy archeologist Indiana Jones enjoys quite a large fanbase. This is a guy who spends most of his movies running from…

  • I get the sense that Steven Seagal and director Don E. FauntLeRoy wound up 2005′s Today You Die, looked at what an awesome opera of action violence they wreaked and...

    Mercenary for Justice (2006)

    I get the sense that Steven Seagal and director Don E. FauntLeRoy wound up 2005′s Today You Die, looked at what an awesome opera of action violence they wreaked and…

  • Steven Seagal stabs a guy in the neck with some chopsticks. He rams a dude’s head into a series of pachinko machines. He throws a guy out of a window....

    Into the Sun (2005)

    Steven Seagal stabs a guy in the neck with some chopsticks. He rams a dude’s head into a series of pachinko machines. He throws a guy out of a window….

  • Jonathan Cold is back! Presumed dead after his last deadly mission, Cold proves that when you’re the best in the business, and your business is doing dirty deeds for the...

    Black Dawn (2005)

    Jonathan Cold is back! Presumed dead after his last deadly mission, Cold proves that when you’re the best in the business, and your business is doing dirty deeds for the…

  • At long last, Steven Seagal fans who like guys getting stabbed have a movie to call their own!  Attack Force features our Rotund Rambo plunging blades into hopped-up Eurotrash like...

    Attack Force (2006)

    At long last, Steven Seagal fans who like guys getting stabbed have a movie to call their own!  Attack Force features our Rotund Rambo plunging blades into hopped-up Eurotrash like…