You’re pulling my leg, right? I mean, I was supposed to laugh when the lead character, General John Gibbs, announced gravely that the real enemy wasn’t the zombies, it was…us. And I’ll bet you wanted me to cringe when General Gibbs shook his fists in the air and howled “damn you Father! Damn you to hell!” after Gibby was forced to plug a zombie kid between the eyes. Read More

I suppose you could make a worse zombie movie than Living Dead in Tokyo Bay. If you tried. Really, really hard. And had a whole lot of luck, too. Of course, a zero budget zombie movie from the director of ultra Japanese trash movies Guts Of A Beauty, Guts Of A Virgin, and Rusted Body: Guts Of A Virgin 3 and starring the guy who wrote the novel that the zero budget Japanese zombie movie Stacy was based upon means we’re talking “winning the lottery three times in a month” luck. Read More

Scientist Robert Morgan (Vincent Price) is puttering about his house doing what most of us violent, superstitious nerd bachelors would do in our downtime after the end of the world: sharpen wooden stakes, load the door up with fresh garlic, and play with his shortwave radio. Remember when you thought Armageddon would be super awesome? Sheesh. What a let down! Read More

There’s really no way to overstate how feeble Invisible Invaders is. Even genre stalwart John Carradine is smart enough to get blown up in the opening frames, reappear briefly as a zombie (he’s very convincing as a dead guy), then disappear entirely from things. Read More

When I saw that the last man on Earth had somehow ended up facing an army of the undead in a parking garage armed with only a pair of nunchucks, I wondered just how dimwitted all the other people who didn’t survive must have been. And when the last man on Earth saw a rabbit and giddily began chasing after it, I thought that perhaps this was some sort of scenario where a mutant virus had attacked the human brain destroying all those with I.Q.s over 50. Read More

A movie which somehow achieves the bizarre status of being ahead of its time and also a slavish copy of more popular contemporaries, Umberto Lenzi’s Nightmare City proves that the Italian exploitation filmmakers of yore were even better at their trade than anyone at the time even realized. Read More

This movie manages to do in twenty minutes what most zombie movies do in about ninety. Whether you consider that a good thing or not depends on what you think about all those full-length zombie movies we’ve been exposed to in the last thirty years. I have often complained that some of these zombie films seemed to go on for way too long (see Dawn Of The Dead and Hell Of The Living Dead for example) so you might think that this twenty minute short film would be perfect for the genre. Read More

When there is no more room in Hell, the dead will *yawn*. Huh? What? Oh, yeah, I’m awake. Just sort of dozed off for a minute. You know, deep down I never really believed the various explanations that the Man gave out for these periodic attacks of undead terror cells. You’ve got your Trioxin barrels that keep getting lost and busted open. Or there’s always some comet or meteor or other vague outer space situation that might have caused Joe Zombie to start fussin’ and fightin’. Then you’ve got your virus that some goofball scientist created and inadvertently let loose when he was too busy playing with his Bunsen burner. But I think that Day of the Dead 2: Contigium really hits the nail on the head in the realism department when they have the end of the world hinge on a guy in an ugly shirt clutching a green Thermos. I mean, has any good ever come out of dudes who don’t know how to dress themselves wandering around with a Thermos? Read More

As expected, Day Of The Dead (2008 edition – now with CGI!) is horrible, but in its defense, it never really gets as horrible as you assumed it would when you busted into the gun store, stocked up on Uzis, ammo, and machetes and hit the streets of small town America to hack your way through a batch of zombies accidentally unleashed by our clumsy government again. Sure, there were plenty of reasons to hate this movie (Mena Suvari as a tough as nails soldier? I had to look in the mirror to make sure some zombie virus hadn’t attacked my freaking brain when I heard that one!), but whenever my hatred would edge into murderous loathing territory, Nick Cannon would go and do something like kick a severed zombie head like a soccer ball while dispensing some potty mouthed bit of dialogue! Goooooal! Read More

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. Four people including two white guys, a black guy, and a chick fly around in a helicopter after the living dead have run roughshod over our planet. These four people are holed up inside a rather large structure where they not only have to do battle against zombies with a sweet tooth for arms, legs and pig guts, but also against their fellow humans, thus provoking that often-asked and perpetually not-so-subtle question: Who are the real monsters? Read More